It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
