I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize