okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
the day after is always just damage control
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
