I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't deserve a penis
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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