I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
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I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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