From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
