they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
