Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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