Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
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