have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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