Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
