How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
My vagina is very pro this idea
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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