Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
