Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize