hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
