Me. At least after what I've been through.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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