i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
babies were throwing up all over the place
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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