I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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