Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize