I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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