Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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