Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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