Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize