how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
