I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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