so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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