She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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