you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
