WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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