ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
