just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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