Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
