So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
