Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
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