im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
