I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
