i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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