____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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