Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
