Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
