So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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