I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
