the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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