I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
