you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
