just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
