There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
How does it feel to date your dad?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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