I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
