Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
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