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Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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