Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
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I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
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However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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