I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
