Where is the hickey?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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