well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
