Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
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