my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
