i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
