The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
