do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
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then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
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Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize