I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
